My Anchor

I have had lots of ups and downs lately. I don't know how to explain everything, but I suppose it doesn't matter. What matters is that God is always there. And I am so thankful that I am privileged to be able to own a bible. What a comfort the word of God is. There are times when I feel lost in this crazy world. That is when I need a reality check from God's word. It places everything in the correct perspective.  And wherever I am, I feel at home when I read the familiar passages that have brought me so much hope over the years. I love my bible. It is my anchor.

Ancient word, my world you stay

you bring me hope for each new day

the fog is cleared and vision found

within your pages so humbly bound

Ache Anticipation And Love

What do I feel?

I ache in anticipation.

All I want is to love

 to live in joy and passion

I want to love

I want to be free and warm

I want to embrace

days that are given

  making them notes 

playing melodies of my heart.

I want to love.

I don't want life to be the same as before. It can't be the same, because I am not the same. This is a new day in a new season. God has a plan and I want to embrace it! I want to love God's plan and live in it fully. I am enjoying today. Alone here in my corner I have been reading beautiful words, listening to beautiful music and thinking. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else at the moment. I have no clue what tomorrow will bring, but today is wonderful. I don't know what continent I will reside in this next year, but for right now Europe is home. 

The Trusted Path

For we are His workmanship,

 created in Christ Jesus for good works,

which God prepared before hand 

that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10

God's hand and His purpose has been very evident in my life. He has a plan for my life and good works for me to do. I am so glad that these works are prepared before hand. I don't need to stress over choosing the best work to do and when and how to do it. God already has that all worked out. I just need to seek God. I need to know His voice. I need to surrender my life to His will. I need to love Him. If I love Him I will keep His commandments. And in keeping His commandments I am surrendering my life to His ways. 

There are so many blessing in walking with Christ. There is not any action better than loving and there is no one better to love than Christ. He fills me. All of me. There is no part of my life that is hidden from Him. He knows me better than I know myself. And it is according to the good pleasure of God's will that I am saved and known by Christ. It is because I have known God's love that I can trust Him. I trust that He knows the way before me, because He laid that way. I can walk forward confidently, because I know the path is firm. There is no fear of sinking sand. How good it is to know Him and to walk the path that He has laid.

Surety is the way before me

Love has founded the ground

No ill wind can dissuade me

            from this path, unfaltering I've found           

But Then Face to Face

 My grandmother's funeral was yesterday. Everything was lovely. Lots of relatives and friends came to say their last goodbyes and to reminisce over days gone by. After the funeral my uncles, aunts and cousins came over to my grandpa's house for a while. I had not seen so many of my father's family members together in one place before. It was interesting to watch them all interact with each other. Today is quiet. All the relatives have gone and this morning my aunt and I cleaned my grandmother's bedroom. It is being returned to a normal bedroom now. The hospital bed is gone as well as all the reminders of sickness. Life churns steadily onward. It is strange how life moves on. People pass away and new people are born. My cousin is expecting a baby girl in just two weeks and my sister is expecting a baby girl in May. My grandma was looking forward to meeting these new little ones, but I guess it wasn't to be. It is strange to think that she is not in this world anymore. She doesn't seem gone really, just in a different place. Heaven doesn't seem so very far away when I know I have someone that I knew and loved here on earth there waiting for me. I spent many hours by my grandma's bedside sitting with her during the night hours. There were two pictures on the wall opposite me, my grandmother's wedding pictures. I loved looking at them. And when she passed away, I looked up at those pictures knowing that that was what she looked like as she entered into our Father's heavenly kingdom. She is beautiful. Every tear has been wiped away and every sorrow has passed.

 I am so glad that she knew Jesus and that He knew her. They walked a long road together and now she can see His face as clear and as bright shining as the noon day sun.

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face.

Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

1 Corinthians 13:12

One day I will surely see Him
In the beauty of holiness we'll stand
Waking unto the morning's light
I will grasp the Savior's hand

Just Being

Knowing I am needed is wonderful. It brings an inward and outward smile just knowing that my presence itself makes a difference to people in my life. Today I became aware of just how much my presence meant. I had been gone for a day and a half and I know I was missed. It is reassuring to know that God uses me even without me having to say or really do anything. Just being is enough sometimes.

Some of my best memories with friends are of just being together and enjoying the quiet. I love the fact that silence has its place in relationships. Silent moments are beautiful. 

The substance of you is beautiful

Stillness in friendship wonderful

Peace of heart and rest of soul

Can be shared without a word

Our silent moments are precious

Speech just is not needed

I know you and you know me

 This is gladness, simply to be

Of Poems and Laundry

Songs are fun and poems are nice

But something more is needed

A willing heart to pay the price

  makes the task completed

This poem is for all the days that I would much rather sit in my corner and muse away the hours rather than fold the laundry or make dinner. I spend too much time in my corner...*sigh*. All things in moderation. 

The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting,

But diligence is man's precious possession.

 Proverbs 12:27

''The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting'', I could rephrase that as ''The lazy woman doesn't hang up the wet clothes after the wash is done''. I will hang up the wet clothes as soon as I am done writing this, I promise. I can think of one good thing I have learned recently. I have learned to appreciate dryers. They do make life more pleasant. I am thankful for washing machines too. I don't even want to think about washing all the laundry by hand and in the winter. Okay, off to hang up the laundry.

Heart Preparations

''For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink in My name,

because you belong to Christ, assuredly, I say to you, 

he will by no means lose his reward.''  Mark 9:41

Oh, how I fail. This morning I had a perfect opportunity to do just that. To give someone a cold glass of water in the name of Jesus Christ. And I did, but I still failed. My heart said ''you woke me up so early just because your water wasn't cold enough and you wanted me to get you some fresh water! I am tired, couldn't you have let me sleep''. That is what my heart said. How quickly I lose my compassion. I thought it would be easy to be unceasingly compassionate to an elderly woman at the end of her days. Especially when she is my grandma. I was wrong. I am not as kind or as compassionate as I thought I was. Somehow service seems so noble and fulfilling until you actually are asked to serve when you don't feel like it. I have been here three months now and I have found out that living with elderly people isn't always easy. 

 Patience. Love. Mercy. Compassion. Tenderness. Grace. Sacrifice. Tolerance. Respect.

These are needed. And they don't always come naturally. They are choices. Choices of the heart, each and every day. 

The preparations of the heart belong to man,

But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.

All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,

But the LORD weighs the spirits.

Proverbs 16:1-2

It is my job to prepare my heart. To purpose my heart for self denial deep down inside DAILY. I need to see my heart through God's eyes. He knows my motivations better than I do myself. If I am honest, I would have to say that I lie to myself. I tell myself that I am better than what I really am. I compliment myself. I am puffed up with pride. But God knows. He sees. Service that comes from an unwilling heart isn't worthy to be done in Christ's name. People may say that I am too hard on myself. I know I am not. I need brokenness. I need to realize my own corruption so that what is false may be replaced by what is true. 

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,

Whose sin is covered.

Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity,

And in whose spirit there is no deceit.

Psalm 32:1-2